Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

thumb_up thumb_down -1

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

thumb_up thumb_down -15

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.