Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.