When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I piss in the bed every night

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.