Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.