When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.