I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.