I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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blink

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.