- Things You Think Only You Do

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Poo really loud

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.