When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.