This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.