See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.