look at bins as i walk past them

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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k. everyone

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.