When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.