I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.