I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.