Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I hit the frig after sex

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

chewing icecream before you swallow it

thumb_up thumb_down -24

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.