When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.