When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

Play with my own boobs for no reason

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

Boinked my neighbor

resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

i always think people can hear my thoughts.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.