stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.