Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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k. everyone

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.