I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.