when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.