- Things You Think Only You Do

talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

Pretend my life is a videogame.

I hate being called "buddy".

My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

sing like a pro in da shower

never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

Vote for the other guy

when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.