Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Vote for the other guy

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.