- Things You Think Only You Do

I hate being called "buddy".

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

I masturbate with sandpaper

After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

wen on this website go look at the most disliked

Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.