I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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wonder who wrote these things

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.