sneeze without closing my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -33

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

thumb_up thumb_down -67

when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

thumb_up thumb_down

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

i would air drum even if theres no music playing

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.