The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.