I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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Talk to my cat.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.