I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.