- Things You Think Only You Do

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.