im going to kill that person and get away with it

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

thumb_up thumb_down -38

"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I refuse to forward chain letters

thumb_up thumb_down -29

fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I brush my teeth while im in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.