Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I want to suck on your penis

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.