Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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KICK THE CAN

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.