Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

I'm really picky about how I earn money

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

I aphabeticalize my shoes

pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.