I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.