arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

jack off

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

thumb_up thumb_down +26

After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -74

try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

thumb_up thumb_down -112

every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.