Wondering who would cry at your funeral

I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

Hate using public bathrooms because everyone can hear you pee.

Say what even when u heard someone

When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

Having that feeling of entering the wrong classroom or bus, even though you know it is the right one.

I always cry when I pray.

I play video games with the controller under the covers.

Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.