When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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I have seen a UFO

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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Okay, so. I have this weird habit I've had for like a year now, and it's that I always have to touch things an even amount of times and touch them with the other had the same amount of times. I read it's OCD, which I sometimes experience symptoms of, but this one sticks out. Is this normal? What should I do? Should I ask if I do have OCD?

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Having that feeling of entering the wrong classroom or bus, even though you know it is the right one.

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.