When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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I put big spaces in between comments

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.