Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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try to find this website, but type in "thingsonlyyouthinkyoudo" or "thingsyouonlythinkyoudo" .. give up.. then google it instead.

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Point your finger to the sky When your favorite comes on in the club or on the radio

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.