Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

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okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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Made after doomsday plans

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.