sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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being super bored at school

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i pretend to have the ability of telekinesis and move things around my house , garden, playground...

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.