when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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Fart at home

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.