i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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smoke marijuana

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.