Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Fart at home

thumb_up thumb_down -42

scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

thumb_up thumb_down -110

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

thumb_up thumb_down +47

oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

thumb_up thumb_down +54

When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

thumb_up thumb_down -22

After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down -152

wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

thumb_up thumb_down +27

become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Think that some of the posts here are pretty damn normal and how that means I am much weirder than I thought I was

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.