Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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shag your mom

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.