When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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I really like taking shits.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.