Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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Fart at home

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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Think that some of the posts here are pretty damn normal and how that means I am much weirder than I thought I was

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.