Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

thumb_up thumb_down +53

I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

thumb_up thumb_down +61

(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

get bored so I fist myself for money

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

thumb_up thumb_down +69

When I'm scared in the shower sing

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.