When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.