when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Drinking and dialing people I dated.

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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Type in 'things you thought only you did' and find this site. Then smile stupidly and click thumbs up everytime you read something you thought only you did.

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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When i wake up from a good dream, i close my eyes and imagine the ending in different ways.

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.