do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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I can see a magic eye image

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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You keep going through pages of "Things You Think Only You Do" clicking the button until you realize that your on like page 50.

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.