sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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When I'm watching a youtube video, I worry about how much time is left because I'm concerned the video maker won't wrap it up in time before the video ends.

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.