When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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fap

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When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

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pick your nose and eat it

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.