When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

im going to rape that girl

I sleep in the nude.

losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

im going to RAPEEEE that girl

masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.