When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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sometimes when I listen to a song while riding in the car I look out the window and pretend I'm in some angsty music video

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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Every once in a while I think 'I know you're reading my mind...' and look about the classroom. See if anyone looks at me.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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Open blinds when taking a poop to look outside, then realize that someone could be watching you.

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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I like to poo while smoking.

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.