At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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Dancing while hoovering

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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RAPE CHILDREN

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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fart

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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pick your nose and eat it

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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I sleep in the nude.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.