after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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I pee in the shower.

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

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Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

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Get exstremly sad or depressed whenever you think about something you did that was embarrassing or something you regret infront of someone when that person probably doesn't even remember it....

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Breathe.

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.