Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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i masturbate with my feet

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I **** with no hands.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.