- Things You Think Only You Do

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

i masturbate with my feet

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.