Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.