Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.